i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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