And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
