The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
