The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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