You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Still dying that you shit outside
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
