good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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