I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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