I'm jealous of your bromance
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
