You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
