This girl is more easily done than said...
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
