You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
