I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
