it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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