goodnight i made you a song goodbye
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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