Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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