super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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