I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
