I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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