Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
