WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
