i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
