Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
