If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
