the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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