Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
