I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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