I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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