remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
