You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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