hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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