Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
