Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
