Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
