I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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