I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
