all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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