Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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