nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize