Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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