It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
