so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
