I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
