stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
My ATM looks so different sober.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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