You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
