Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
