I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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