omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
