dude i'm inner monologue high
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
