I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
