brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
