kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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