Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
